LOUISE

I arrived to the greatest weather possible. As I was going in to town yesterday it was 31 degrees, and later on it sank to 26, but being able to sit outside until 9.30 pm, still being warm and the sun is not completely gone is an amazing feeling. I really have underestimated Swedish summer, and missed it.

Yesterday I hung out with Elin and did things I've been missing so much: had a beer at Hamnpaviljongen (a bar right by the harbour), had some wine at Gröningen and just enjoyed each other's company. Perfect day, with erfect weather, I even have a slight sunburn (on my feet from my sandals, that is). Today is nice as well, and I'll be heading out soon to enjoy the sunlight, then later on I'll be meeting Nicole and my Dad.

Ciao!

I am officially home!

I left New Zealand on Monday night (which in Sweden equals to Monday morning) the 27th of June. I had my intermediates in Los Angeles and London, and I landed in Copenhagen on Tuesday afternoon (which in New Zealand equals to early Wednesday morning). Tge last couple of days has been hectic as I spent the weekend in bed, as I was too sick to even get up from the bed or eat, but moving made me physically better as opposed to what I thought it would do to me.

My friend Klara picked me up at the airport and together we went to my sister Nicole's place and surprised her with help from her boyfriend, Johannes. We later on drove to my Mom's place and gave her quite a shock as well. My oldest sister Erica was with my Mom and knew that I was coming, and had in secret prepared a celebration meal with grapes, strawberries, rosé wine and canapés. Malin joined in and all of us sat in the kitchen and just talked for a while, I couldn't imagine a better first night in Sweden.

I thought I'd be depressed over leaving New Zealand. With New New Zealand I don't only mean the country, but also my friends and people in general, the culture, the music, WSA, and the list goes on. Leaving put me between a rock and a hard place, but on my flight to London from LA I realized that it's time for me to move on and come back. It is no longer strange for me to say home, and it feels good!

That does not indicate that I will ever forget about NZ and all the adventures down there! I had the best year of my life there and nothing can ever take that away from me. I hate to say that I don't, for now, miss Aotearoa (NZ in Maori) more than I do, but I'm sure that I will go back there someday so what's to be sad about? I'll come back!

But for now it's 7 am in Sweden, so I'll make me some breakfast and watch Swedish news and catch up with what's been going on here for a year. This is probably not the end of the blog, but I guess I'll have to re-name it. I do feel like continuing to write in English!

So cheers to all of my kiwi and international friends out there, there really are heaps of you. It has been an honor to get to know all of you! Add me on Skype so that we can stay in touch! Love you!

war will end us.

here are some pictures from last week



And and I


Tomo and I


Vera, Tash, Me and Hailey having a sleepover


Margies always leaves a trace

'cause when i leave for the night i ain't coming back

I'm freaking out right now.

so  fu**ing  wierd

So there was a reaction my post from yesterday, so I just wanted to say that I'm okay =)

The headline is from the song Let it fall by Lykke Li, it's really good. I was a bit on the down as I am leaving soon, but I ended up going out with Chisato, Tomo and Hailey.

I don't remember much. What I do know is that I had half a bottle of Jim Beam, got a free burger at McDonald's and later on a free lollipop at the convinience store around the corner at Symonds St. As if that was the first time, lol.

So after trying to figure out what happend last night, I'm making soup and waiting for Alex to come to town.

Tonight's the international student leaving party, so we're on it.

Lalalala soup now! Ciao

I've been hiding in my room all day.. Again.

No energy nor will to get dressed and go out. I've been watching Grey's Anatomy and if I could choose I'd stay here a couple of more days just watching Grey's and wasting time. Hiding.

But there's no escape from reality, I suppose.

Might as well go ut there.

Hence why I'm going to Kings tonight. 

 

So yesterday was fun.

It would have been even better if I actually remembered more than I do. For an example, I texted "the doors are attacking me" to Chris, and ended up going to their apartment early this morning. Talking about contrast when I'm hammered meanwhile Andy is up early studying for his exam.

Oh well. It was fun and very much alike most nights out last semester. The night included drunken heart-to-hearts, emotions, confessions, dancing, confrontations, and less water than I needed. We ended up eating breakfast at McDonald's. I got free marshmallows. And then aparently I wandered the halls of WSA, visiting at least two apartments before I reached my own. Makes me wonder...., where else did I go?   

Now it's past 7 in the evening, and sice it's Andy's last night out I'm joining. That's really the only reason, I just don't feel like shouting, loud music and alcohol right now. But I know I'll regret it forever if I don't go out with him one last time, so....

And by the way.... Hangover sushi is not good at all. Should've got myself pizza or something.

Off to 9G now to party. Adios amigos.

Yo.

It's past 2 pm. I haven't slept for 21 hours. I've been awake all night, that is.

And now I'm off to watch The Hangover Part II with Tomo, and then we'll start drinking

Ciao!

You know what? I haven't slept since 5 pm yesterday, and now it's 10.30 am.

I have already done laundry and sorted out 1 years paperwork, and I don't want to sleep. I've been watching a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy, but I'm just not tired. So I'll have a shower and make coffee. I just can't sleep my life away.

Damn sleeplessness.  

- Snart flyttar jag
- Japp
- .. till Sverige
- Mhm
- Jag får träffa alla jag saknar så mycket
- ..
- Men jag lämnar så många bakom mig samtidigt
- Sånt är det
- Det är sorgligt, men det är så samtidigt så KUL
- Jaha?
- Är det inte det?
- Är det?
- Jo..? Visst fan ska det bli kul
- Säker på det?
- Jo... Klart jag är säker
- Det är inte jag

Jag kan inte riktigt komma fram till vad jag vill.

---

Gretchie, here's a translation just for you. An inner monologue had to be in Swedish, after all.

- I'm moving soon
- Yeah
- .. to Sweden
- Mhm
- I'll get to see the people I miss so much
- ..
- But I'm also leaving so many people behind
- That's life
- It's sad, but great at the same time
- Oh yeah?
- Isn't it?
- Is it?
- Yeah..? Surely it'll be great
- Sure of that?
- Yeah.. Of course I'm sure
- I'm not

I can't be the only one experiencing this? Am I?

It feels so wierd being done.

I'm still stressed out, due to all the hard work this whole semester. I have been working so hard, but I still feel like I should have pushed myself harder. Why didn't I do that? You don't work as hard as you possibly can until you get the best grade in all courses. So here I am, without the best grades in everything. I feel disappointed and angry.

I am waiting for the grades of my essay in Conflict Resolution to be released. It was 30% of the grade and I felt quite confident writing it.

We've done:

- Presentation 20% A+
- Mediation role play 10% A+
- Exam 40%
- Essay 30%

I just wish they could release the gades that actually MATTERS for the final grade, isthat really too much to ask for??? I'm freaking out here and want my grades, it's killing me not to know!

I've got a couple A+'s here, but only on the smaller assignments. Being done with uni makes me so restless, and everytime I see my Psychology book I just want to open it, which makes me feel miserable because Psychology has taken over my life the last couple of weeks.

I just can't wait to start uni again in Sweden. I want to go further and do better. I know I can, I'm just not exactley sure of how. I need to find my own way to do it. I'm on my way, but no there quite yet.

When I need inspiration I take it from people I look up to. The last few weeks I've been watching Grey's Anatomy, as I admire the character Cristina Yang. After one or two episodes I'm up running again. One of my philosophies in life is that anyone can achieve anything. They just have to push themselves and find a way that suits them.
Deep inside I know I can, I know I'm smart, and I know I will do good in life. Somedays, however, I feel like giving up, like I'm not good enough, not smart enough. Not even Grey's can heal that feeling.

Oh well. I'm done here and there's nothing I can do now anyways.

I'm still fucking longing to start uni again.

Reading last night's post made me realise even more how terrible my English becomes after drinking. I had a few glasses of wine before I blogged, and I must apologize for my slobby grammar. It really was terrible!

Today has been such a lazy day. I'm exhausted for no reason at all. I slept till 5 pm, ordered pizza and watched Grey's Anatomy and had a glass of red wine. It's now 12.30 am and I'm so damn tired so I'm in bed again. I'll watch movies and do nothing until I fall asleep, and tomorrow I'll deal with stuff that needs to be done. I'll start with doing my laundry, which I now have time to get done. Yay! 

Time flies by.

So I am an analyser, as probably most of you who already knows. I suppose reading my blog is evidence enough to know that, so I will just assume that you know.

Well, having that said I started thinking about what it actually means to be that. Firstly, it does mean that things in my life doesn't just happen by accident, nor do I commonly do thins without having a clue without the ramifications of it. Mortal as I am, obviously I do things that later on does have consequenses I did not expect, but in most cases I do have a backup plan or knowledge ough in how to handle situations depending on whatever the outcome may be.

Yet again, having this said I wonder if it's really necessary to analyse exactley everyting. I am a fir believer in that whatever needs to be sorted out, it should be done in a proper way which includes talking over the reasons for a certain situation, and then moving on to find the best possible solution.

Sometimes I do find myself feeling way too old for my age acting like this, as I actually am still a teenager and should just take life as it comes, one day at a time. Or should I really?

Life is so complicated, and it feels like taking the long way being to intense about everything and trying to figure out every single thing and person in my life, and why things happens. No, I do not believe that things happens for a reason. I believe that things happens for a cause, and if that cause in some way disturbs me, I would rather have it sorted out right there and then, rather than just leaving it as itis hoping for it to go away.

As I said, I may take life (from that point of view) way too seriously, but on the other hand, is it really possible to do that? Life is the biggest thing that we will ever experience, and if something would ever disturb us in any way, isn't it just better to get rid off it and sort it out?

Being straight up is, as I experience it, something that is quite uncommon, in all honesty. By that I don't mean to say that I'm ahead of all of you which I don't think I am, but I do tend to be very honest about how I feel about certain things which scares and intimidates people more than I will ever be able to understand. Being honest. How could that ever be bad? Sure, honesty does hurt sometimes, but in the end it saves so much time knowing what's going on instead of wasting time trying to figure it out.

Which leads us back to analysing, which in that point of view is wasting time on precisely that: trying to figure things out. So is this just a bad circle that I am in, or am I just a bit mentally older in that manner than most people of my age?

Well don't expect me to give any answers because I don't have a clue. I am constantly trying to develop myself and grow up and learn more about life, but everynow and again I get shot down, by myself or others, only to realise that I'm actually not really making that much progress. That it's all in my head. Trying to figure yourself out is impossible, just as impossible as it is for someone else to do it for you.

Of course, when other people try to figure you out your defense will be "you don't know me enough to say that", but will someone ever know enough of you to give them approval to throw in their opinion? Will you ever accept that people actually see you for who you are, just from a different aspect than yourself do? It is hard to accept, as it would be uncomfortable being confronted about your behaviour from someone else when you yourself haven't even considered it, or wanted to consider it.

I know me, but I don't know me the way that other people do. I easily get shut into my own bubble, believing that everything I say or do is right and the best possible way to deal with things, and accepting that it's not is hard. So I do accept the fact that I'm an analyser. I'm not going ti apologise for it, nor try to change myself and my instinctive behaviour, but I do need to consider whether there i a better way of dealing with life. Regardless of how complicated life may be, everyone needs to just let it go every now and then and just live life wiout always trying to have a concrete plan of how the next ten years will be like, how people should behave and what life right now will lead to.

Coming to New Zealand was not that much though through at all, and yet here I am and I'm happy! I know I made the best decision of my life coming here, so maybe I should try and loosen up and just go with the flow and accept things for what they are, and not for how they should have, or could have been.

I am challenging myself to just take life as it is until Friday, which is a massive challenge for me who always try to figure out everything about.. well, everything! So that is about three days. Three days I will take it as it comes without making a big deal about everything, and I will try to keep my notebook with me at all times so that I can write down whatever goes on in my head so that I perhaps can find a motive for my beaviour.

Why do I need to be in control of everything (well not literally everything, as that would be most impossible)?

3 days, starting from now. Challenge accepted!

16 hours until the exam in Psychology starts.

In 19 hours I will have completed a Certificate in Conflict Resolution at Auckland University of Technology.

Beautiful girls!

Sleepless.

I'm too awake to sleep, but I'm too tired to study.

I studied for 10 hours straight yesterday, so HOW THE HELL CAN I BE UNABLE TO SLEEP 6 IN THE MORNING?

But you know what?

I'm no good watching Grey's Anatomy all morning. I might as well go to Starbucks and get myself some coffee, and get started again. My exam is not going to ace itself.

Talking to Dominik over Skype and it breaks my heart how much I miss him and everyone else. I'm truly hoping to see at least him and Esme soon, as we do live relatively close to each other.

Looking through pics. I miss you

 

18/20 on my last psych test.

I do wish I would've done better, but you know what? 18/20 is good as well!

Today is a perfect day for studying:

- cloudy
- windy
- rainy

It's past 1pm, so I'm going to have a shower, eat something then start studying.

Sweet as!

I can't sleep, and it might be due to way much thinking.

I'm just going through a lot of emotions right now that doesn't make life much easier. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, and making up my mind about everything is impossible. One minute I'm going over my flight reservations and planning my homecoming, and the next I just want to hide under my bed in order to avoid facing the fact that I have to leave.

It doesn't make it easier that Chris keeps making jokes about that I will cry when we say good bye. I always tell him I won't, even though I know that I most likely will. I'm not good with saying good byes, and there's no denial that I prefer sneeking off, not making that much of a deal out of it.

But I can't leave without making a deal out of it. I almost panic every time I randomly get reminded of anything that has to do with leaving. I start questioning life. I start questioning myself. I do not doubt myself, but I'm scared as hell. I know I've changed a lot here, and the people I know will have changed as well. Will we still get along? Will we still be good friends?

Thinking about leaving makes me nearly depressed, anxious, and really terrified. Of course I'm looking forward to see everyone, but let's be honest; it doesn't mean that I want to move back. As I was taking a long walk the other day, I got so emotional as I was enjoying the Domain. It struck me that soon I won't be able to go there again, and I just had a big breakdown right there.

I can't remember crying about leaving Sweden. I might have done so, but I have no recollection of doing it. I do remember being a bit sad at Changi airport in Singapore, as I was reading a letter from my Mom and at the same time realizing what I had thrown myself into. So why does it have to be such a big deal this time? Why all this anxiety and restlessness?

The last weeks, time has slowed down. A week doesn't feel like a day anymore. I'm starting to think of things I've never done here. I have turned down every single date I've been asked out on, because I've been terrified of commitment considering my limited period of time. I have never been to Waiheke Island. I have never had picnic on Mount Eden at sunset. I have never been to One Tree Hill, nor the Auckland museum. I haven't even been to a winetasting. And now I'm running out of time. In one way, I feel like I've been given a horrible diagnosis, knowing the exact date and all I can do is to wait. That makes me feel like crap, because as I said before I really am looking forward to go back but I don't want to move...

I don't know. I barely even know what I want. I've started having nightmares that has to do with travelling, flying, moving. Maybe I just need a wee more time to process it all? How the hell am I going to accept the fact that I'm leaving a country that I am so much in love with? 

So I finished my exam preparation summary today and made a studyguide out of it. I ended up being more than 50 pages of summary covering the whole course, plus about 80-90 pages of articles that may be part of the exam. Today I've been reading and making notes in the studyguide regarding things that are crucial for the exam, and parts where I need to add information. It's been a long day, and in order to keep myself from being distracted I turned off the sound on my phone and tried to zone into myself.

When I study I just kind of disappear into my own world. I talk to myself and I make wierd gestures that most people take for insanity. The gesture thing is a big part of my learning, that I learned from a good kiwi friend of mine.

I structure the information (on paper) in a way that suits me, whether it is in a special order, arrows, colours, you name it, and then I look up from the paper and make a mental image of the information. After repeatig it a few time, I can picture the information the exact same way as it is on the paper right in front of me. I guess that's what most people do when they learn geography, for an example.

It really is helpful. Obviously, one needs to understand the meaning of the information to succesfully learn it and be abe to recollect it later on when needed, but even if you do it doesn't mean that you will be able to keep track on which order it comes on, or even remember it at all.

What I do is that I start off by creating a mental image with bulletpoints. Once I have a good clue of that, I start adding more and more information, but it is important to break t up in pieces.

Ex. the peripheral nervous system.

 - The peripheral nervous system (PNS) consists of the somatic and autonomic nervous system (SNS & ANS, abbrevations are also good ways regarding learning and processing information into your long term memory). The somatic nervous system is divided into afferent and efferent, and the autonomic is divided into sympathetic and parasympathetic.

That's step one, the basic information to know how it is "built up".

Next step is to add the different functions of afferent, efferent, sympathetic, and parasympathetic and understand the connection.

Remember: when you already know the basic structure, it becomes much more easier to relate the different facts to ehere they belong.

Well, that's the tip of the day. Don't have any more energy for this. I'm off to bed to watch I am number 4, and tomorrow I'm going running with Eirik 8 am, then I'm waking up Chris at 10. I think I might made him breakfast before I do so, as I love eating proper breakfasts (which I haven't done in ages) just as much as I love making breakfast for other people. I actually do!

So off to bed now. Good night, world!

How great is this song? Soooooo good!

I don't want to leave. Not now.

Ok, so here's one bad thing about studying in the lobby

First year kid in his first semester (guessing 17 years old, even though he acts like he's 14) puking into a plastic bag being held by two of his friends after drinking vodka straight out the bottle without eating a proper meal during the whole day.

I suppose that's reason enough to leave for the night. I simply can't study with these drunken kids a few metres from me, whom this very moment is trying to touch his own vomit?

Gross. Grow up.

Hey!

So I've been productive. Well, that's not news considering I've been stdying like a maniac basically this whole semester. But particularily for this exam. I have now less than five days and I'm on fire. I have written down a summary divided in 8 pieces that covers the whole exam, every single thing I need to know. Tomorrow I'll be wandering off to the library to print it out and make a booklet out of it and, by the end of the week I will know, and have full understanding of, everything in it. Oh, there is no feeling better than the satisfaction from getting great grades from studying hard.

I really love being a student. Being here, and especially this semester, I've appreciated being a student so much more and I have enhanced evrything from study methods to results, so I'm really pleased. However, as I only have this one exam left and then be done, nothing but the best is good enough. It is now past midnight and I'm not really tired. I've done a lot already, but I think that I will go down to the lobby soon again to go through everyting and make sure that I haven't missed out on any facts that I need to know.

I love being in Uni. Even though it is a big change going from a couple hours studying a week to a couple hours studying a day, I still enjoy it. I can't wait to start University in Sweden and continue the adventurous studentlife.

And speaking of adventures, I have found something that I want to do. I want toclimt Kebnekaise! I thought since Mt Doom actually is higher and I managed to survive that, why not do Kebnekaise, that actuallyis the only proper mountain in Sweden? I have put the time limit on three years, so before 2014. Exciting!

Elsewise I'm going through some things for my flights. Still need to fix a photo for my ISIC card, fix my ESTA and some more things.. At least I have some time to gt it done, and I won't put any effort into it until my exam is DONE and nailed. First thing I'll be doing is to invade Waiheke Island (yes, it's actually happening!) sometime next week after Tuesday. We're doing a budget trip consisting biking the whole island and visiting every vineyard with free winetasting. Ferry is approx $30 and bikes should be about the same. Oh yeah! Even better is that I'll be going with Sarah, Alex and Tomo, whom I've never travelled (well, if this counts as travelling, that is) with before. Hooray!

Well, the big countdown is on and in less than FIVE DAYS I will have a life again outside of my books which I'm sincerely looking forward to. Really excited, actually.

Study now. A+ here I come.

Ciao!

And oh, here's one of the best songs by Metallica. Enjoy!

I'm bored and restless, so I'll start my day by walking to Mt Eden, and then I'll study.

Hey, I'm still going strong. Well, not strong. I finished studying about two hours ago, just after five in the morning, but for some reason I can't seem to sleep. The sun just went up and I must admit that I am most tempted to make me some coffee, watch the morning news and go downstairs to breathe in fresh, morning air in the courtyard while reading a book. But of course, since I haven't slept yet I would only end up hallucinating, being irrationally hungry, and slightly annoyed towards everyone.

I looked out my window about 30 minutes ago. Part of my view is currently parts and pieces of a construction site, and I was sure that one of the machines was moving. As I sat up in my bed, staring at the machine and waiting for it to move again, I concluded that I was only hallucinating, which I tend to do a lot when I haven't slept enough. Well, my hallucinations usually are sounds and noises, but I see things sometimes as well. Funny thing is that when I looked over thre five minutes later it actually had moved. Or had it? I'm pretty sure it did!

And oh.... Just five secnds ago I had to stop and go back to see if I spelled the words "things" correctly. Do you really put the n in front of the g? I believe that would be a fine demonstration for how tired I am. The fact that I want to stay up doesn't make it any better. Make a huge breakfast and getting things done doesn't really matter if the brain isn't working, right?

Besides, I need my sleep in order to nail my psych exam, which I will do! I know I will. It's hard, but I can do this.

Five days to go.

Today I will finish all the summaries of everything that will be in the exam. Summaries, all the chapters in the book, all the readings, all the experiments, etc. That is the goal for today.


I will never accept being told what I can and cannot do.

Listening to 30 Seconds to Mars and still going strong. Red Bull, I ♥ U

Their songs and music videos gives me chills along my spine - that's how good they are!

Instead of studying in the lobby as I usually do I'm sitting at the kitchen table in my apartment. I do prefer worig on the computers downstairs, but it's all good. Here I can relax without having a lot of things going on around me. Considering how tired and off I am today, I need some quiet time.

So I dimmed the light in the livingroom and lit up some candles, and I'm listening to Tracy Chapman as I'm trying to collect enugh energy to study. I mean, I am studying but I won't be able to go on for too long if I won't "wake up" soon. I'm drinking Charlie's Honest Quencher Old Fashion Feijoa Lemonade, which just might be the best juice I'v ever had. Feijoa is an amazing combination of sweet and sour fruit which I've never even heard about before I came to NZ. I'm also snacking Doritos Supreme Cheese. So good! Really do need something to keep the body working, and if I decide to stay up and pull an all nighter I'll go and get some Red Bull. Coffee wouldn't do the trick by now anyway.

But now back to biology and Tracy.

This song is so beautiful, don't you think?

Yo!

Lat night Tomo and I went to see the Auckland Blues v Waikato Chiefs rugby game. Tomo cheered for Cheifs and I for Blues, and unfortunatley Chiefs won with 16 to 11. Damn! It was great though, we were live in tv, Tomo in his Chiefs tshirt and myself with Blues flags. We stayed till after the game and I got myself an autograph and picture with Joe Rockocoko, who also plays (played?) for All Blacks. Famous player, that is. Not that I can keep track on all of them. But it was mean as, and I'm going to the next game as well, and that time I'll be wearing a Blues jersey and have my face painted. Last game of the season people!

Elsewise, home from work and just came up to my room after chilling in the lobby with Mak and Tomo. Will return in a sec to continue this endless studying for the exam, which takes place in less than 8 days now. OH SHIT! Getting nervous!

Tomorrow is the Queen's birthday and Swedens national day. Oh yeah! I'm such a proud Swede, and will peobably honour my country one way or another tomorrow night. Swedish dinner, perhaps. It's funny, because I've never taken any particular notice to this day before, but it's jus different when you live in another country. You become so patriotic!



Hmmm. So it's Sunday today. And I'm so god damn tired. I fell asleep on my way homefrom work, on the bus, and almost missed my bus stop. Jeeeeeez! I'm really looking forward to the end of this semester, but at the same time it's going to be really sadto leave this place. And with place I mean NZ, Auckland, AUT, WSA, you name it. But I'm really excited to start uni in Sweden. Change is always healthy, and it's important not to get stuck in one place for too long. I can't even imagine myself staying in one place for more than a couple of years. And there's no denial that I have been wishing for some change here as well. As much as I love Auckland, I wouldn't mind to go somewhere else. Living in Christchurch for three months was such a great decision, and I'm so happy I did it.

Oh well... Tired, and as you may notice I'm not inspired enough to write anything interesting. Just a quick update. I do feel like mentioning that my stress about flying is kicking in. I'm not sure of why, but I tend to become so paranoid about flying.

I mean, I'm never nervous about a plane crash or anything like that, and I'm no longer afraid of getting lost in the airports. I've travelled enough to know how airports function. BUT, for some unknown reson I'm terrified of missin my flights, either if it's a 1 or 12 hours flight I'm catching, I'm stressing out.

The other night I dreamt that I was taking a flight to London from a unknown destination, and I missed it! I had the same dream the night before I took my flight to Christchurch from Auckland in November last year. So strange! I don't consider it a bad omen. I just need to relax about it.

Oh well. Here's a pic of me and Joe after the game last night. Yeeeee boi!


And yeah, I look like a living dead. Can't believe I looked like that the one time I'm in live tv in New Zealand, that a couple of my friends saw as well. Haha!

I'm listening to some Italian music and can't help but be astonishe about of how beautiful this language is. I am most happy to have studied it, and cannot wait to learn it fluently! Here are some songs by the amazing Eros Ramazzotti

  

Good morning.

Well, its almost 4 pm so I guess it is good day. Woke up 1,5 hours ago. Made onion and carrot soup and had a can of coke. Yesterday was awesome with beer pong, flip cup and just driking and socializing at Nick & Emma's, as it was their leaving party. So sad though. It really sucks that everyone are leaving so soon, including myself.

However. We went to town around 2ish, not even sure of when to be honest. I did get to Chris' bday party and to another couple of places. Good night. Today I'm recovering, and there's a rugby game in a few hors I'm attending so I'm hoping for the rain to stop. Yeah, right!

BUT

What I really wanted to say is that there was an explosion this morning in Onehunga, where I work. One person died. I'm supposed to work tomorrow and Monday, but now I'm not sure if I can make it.. So why does it feel like something is after me? Earthquake less than 48 hours after leaving Christchurch. Tornado in Auckland. Explosion where I work, on a day I usually work. What the f u c k ? Am I being paranoid, or is something after me? Haha, it is retarded but I just can't help but thinking..

I hope this won't follow me back to Sweden.. And I hope that my flight won't crash or any of the airports will be bombed because I really believe that it's due for something bad to happen to me. Ah. I do blieve that New Zealand has had enough with natural disasters, explosions, and deaths. Rememer the mining explosion last year? When will they have some peace again?

Aaaargh

I think I'm getting sick.

Last night I slept for 15 hours, which I really needed. However, I've had a cruelsome headache all day which I unsuccessfully tried to cure with coffee, water, fresh papaya, nuts and dired fruit. I've studied between 1.30 and 9.30, with an hours break for food shopping (first time in several weeks, yay!). So now I'm tired, feel like shit and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to be able to work tomorrow. FML.

11 days until the exam.