The panicking part of growing older
As often as a few times a week it strucks me that I am getting older. Not older as in close to retirement, but in fact not a teenager anymore, and officially grown up. A friend of mine who's a few years older than me pointed out a few days ago that I have another ten years to just fool my life around, and that I have time to make mistakes, bu she doesn't. Her point was that if I finish my bachelor only to discover that my degree is in fact nothing I want to work with that's fine, because I still have time to figure out what I want.
That is not how I see it. Out of my point of view I will be 22 when graduating with a Bachelor's degree. I will also have my one year Certificate, which I expect to be very useful in the area I want to work in. After finishing my Bachelor I intend to finish a Master's Degree as well, as soon as possible.
Why do I need to finish it early?
Well, I believe that the younger I am when I'm done with my studies the more attractive I will be for employers. I'll have time to build my career and make myself a name, earn experience and find my place.
Why is this bad?
For every day that goes by, I'm missing out on adventures. Yes, I have this urge to drop everything to travel, explore and breathe new air.
So basically every day I think of places I want to go, untouched nature I want to experience, wild animals I want to see while they're actually still there, and ancient cities to visit. Why does it feel like a choice between travelling, and studying? Why do I feel like time is slipping away? And why do I feel so much anxiety about not being able to live my dreams before I turn 40? Because in all honesty, I can't imagine a life without travelling just as much as I can't imagine a life without the career I aim for.
Even though I have hopes about being able to combine the two of them, it still scares me that one of them will be put aside. My worst nightmare is to get stuck in the same suburb I grew up in, have kids and have them go to the same school I went to, and have the same, aged teachers I had. No offense. I know there's a lot of people who do that, including my parents, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I just can't see myself doing that, I'd rather die! I do, however, slightly envy those people's capability of settling down, as I can't quite do that myself.
Example: I loved living in Auckland, and even though it was hard to leave I couldn't imagine living there for much longer. I even moved away after five months because the city was starting to get "boring" and "worn out" in a way I can't even explain.
Oh well, I do hope for the best and until I finish my studies I'll have to settle for shorter and touristic trips. In the end, I am spoiled being able to travel the way I have for the past two years, and I am most grateful for what I have seen, even though it's not much.
The future shall tell what my life turns out to be. Let's just hope for the best at the moment.
Peace.
That is not how I see it. Out of my point of view I will be 22 when graduating with a Bachelor's degree. I will also have my one year Certificate, which I expect to be very useful in the area I want to work in. After finishing my Bachelor I intend to finish a Master's Degree as well, as soon as possible.
Why do I need to finish it early?
Well, I believe that the younger I am when I'm done with my studies the more attractive I will be for employers. I'll have time to build my career and make myself a name, earn experience and find my place.
Why is this bad?
For every day that goes by, I'm missing out on adventures. Yes, I have this urge to drop everything to travel, explore and breathe new air.
So basically every day I think of places I want to go, untouched nature I want to experience, wild animals I want to see while they're actually still there, and ancient cities to visit. Why does it feel like a choice between travelling, and studying? Why do I feel like time is slipping away? And why do I feel so much anxiety about not being able to live my dreams before I turn 40? Because in all honesty, I can't imagine a life without travelling just as much as I can't imagine a life without the career I aim for.
Even though I have hopes about being able to combine the two of them, it still scares me that one of them will be put aside. My worst nightmare is to get stuck in the same suburb I grew up in, have kids and have them go to the same school I went to, and have the same, aged teachers I had. No offense. I know there's a lot of people who do that, including my parents, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I just can't see myself doing that, I'd rather die! I do, however, slightly envy those people's capability of settling down, as I can't quite do that myself.
Example: I loved living in Auckland, and even though it was hard to leave I couldn't imagine living there for much longer. I even moved away after five months because the city was starting to get "boring" and "worn out" in a way I can't even explain.
Oh well, I do hope for the best and until I finish my studies I'll have to settle for shorter and touristic trips. In the end, I am spoiled being able to travel the way I have for the past two years, and I am most grateful for what I have seen, even though it's not much.
The future shall tell what my life turns out to be. Let's just hope for the best at the moment.
Peace.
Kommentarer
Trackback
