Preparations
Even though it feels hard, there's no denial that I am a bit exited too. And even though it is tempting to take a year off, work, travel or maybe stay here (home!), I'm very exited about going to uni in Sweden as well. Unfortunatley, one can't have the best of both worlds, at least not for a longer period of time.
So here I am 3.15 in the morning thinking about life and all it's contents. What is there to say, really?
Life is beautiful, and in one way I think it's sad that life goes to waste regarding money, shallowness and lack of kindness, amongst others. Why arewe limited by things such as money? Why don't people follow their own dreams? Why is there always something that could've been better? Is it a healthy, or destructuve approach to life in general that it can always be better than it is?
I have so many questions, but no anwers. I'm not sure of how it is physically or mentally possible, but I think more and more about life and its meaning. I am questionning more and more, which is good, but exhausting after a while. Why? Why why why? I am changed. Will my friends still want to hang out with me? Will I have something to talk to my family about at the breakfast table? Will I feel at home when I go back?
I am not much for good bye's.. If I have the chance, I'll just get over with it the get the hell out of there. It's been working so far, and hopefully it'll continue to do so for a bit longer. Maybe that's what I should do when I leave NZ. Leave WSA 5 in the morning when everyone's asleep, sneak off and not think about it until I'm on the plane and it's too late to turn back...?
All these random thoughts. I'm sorry, it must be a mess to read. I'm a mess right now, sleepless and running out of movies to watch. I have to get myself together and fall asleep!
monday night
I'm kinda bored tonight, but I'm to tired to do something. I went to bed an hour ago but I can't sleep, so I'll watch Brokeback Mountain and chill out by myself.
Tomorrow:
12pm - Go shopping for costume party on Wednesday and St Patty's day on Thursday.
2pm - Group meeting
3-6pm - Lecture + tutorial in Principles of Conflict Resolution
8-11pm - Work
I will also talk to my manager and see if can get some more hours, elsewise I'll have to find another job.
Movie now
...don't forget the Rattlesnakes (even though I'd prefer Marabou Polka (candy cane chocolate).
acknowledgements
Since I moved to New Zealand I have
- started using some words in English even when I speak Swedish, sounds quite retarded
- listened to more Swedish music than I did before
- quit watching movies with subtitles, how could I not find that annoying earlier?
- learned how to cook
- become more patriotic, a proud Swede right here!
- lowered my amount of generalising and stereotyping
- met the most amazing people through studies and travels
- appreciated veggies and fruit more than ever
- almost entierly quit my meat consumption (even though a massive burger or bloody steak is amazing every now and then)
hellogoodbye
Well, if any of you wonder I now have internet in my room, so my availability to Skype is really good at the moment. I'd love to talk to someone tonight so I'll be online for a while just in case someone would log on.
Anywho, it's ten pm and I'm exhausted. I'm considering a trip to the convenience store for something to eat/snack, then lie in my bed and watch movies for the rest of the night. Rather tempting!
BTW
I've seen 127 Hours, and I didn't like it. The last five minutes were good, elsewise...
Cya.
It's the end of the world..?
There was an 8.9 earhquake about 400 km outside of Japan yesterday which led to 10 meter tsunamis on the Japanese coast.
This morning, we had an earthquake in Auckland, thankfully too shallow to even notice. It makes me wonder if this is all because of how poorly human kind has treated Mother Earth. Is it really the "karma, bitch" disguised as nature? A modern version of harmagedon? Who knows, but it sure makes me a bit anxious.
The tsunami warning for New Zealand and Australia is not valid anymore, but it makes me think about what would have happend if we actually had a big earthquake right outside of New Zealand, causing a big tsunami. New Zealand is a small country, it wouldn't need too much of a tsunami to take the whole country down. Just look at the tsunami in Japan last night; more than half the country was affected.
I cn't hel but fee usless, as I am sitting here, in a safe place and there is nothing that I can do about what's going on in the world. I wish I could help, save lives, even comfort those who are in need of it. On the other hand, my study is nothing I am willing to give up, I just have to give it time I suppose.
Anyways.. My heart is aching because of all the lost lives, families affected, destroyed homes and cities that will never be the same again. Let us all hope that 2011 will bring no more sorrow, death and destruction. Let us hope that it is not too late for us to be able to look back at this year with positivity. Have faith.
As long as there is hope, there is life.
All my love and thoughts to all os you in Japan and everyone affected by the earthquake.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Earlybird
For some peculiar reason I seem to be unable to sleep. Well, it's not unusual, but after a day of uni and then work till 11 pm, I reckon I should be ready for sleep. Apparently, that's not the case. I came home from work and got food served to me by Chris; a beautiful cheese, pastrami and mustard sandwich, and then just chilled out with him and Andy for a while in 9g, the new place to hang out in it seems (the semester 1 party flat for 2011).
I went to bed around 1 am, but after three hours of attempting to sleep, I gave up. So here I am, in front of one of the computers in the lobby, with following items:
a pen
some school papers
an exercise book
a usb stick
a bottle of water
Which means, I'll be studying for a bit. I have a group meeting tomorrow after class, so I thought I might as well review it instead of lying in my bed being annoyed about not being able to sleep.
ELSEWISE
Except from class and group meeting, tomorrow (technically today) will be awesome, because me and a whole bunch of people are going to SOUNDS IN THE SUN! A free nz music festival with bands such as Katchafire and Black Seeds. I'll try and make it to Katchafire, if I don't I'll just go straight to Kingsland to my kiwimates' house and pregame with them. Ohhh yeah (as Elise would say).
Hell, I don't really have much more to say 4.23 in the morning to be honest.
Nanda, Andy, Chris, Eirik, Christian, Me and Sheryl. A great mixture of Brazil, Norway, USA, Germany and China.
Week 2, Semester 1, 2011
This is how my week is scheduled:
Monday: Class 4-7
Tuesday: Study 12-3. Class 3-6. Work 8-11
Wednesday: Study 11-2. Class 2-4. Work 6-11
Thursday: Class 9-11. Study 11-2. Group meeting 2. Sounds in the Sun (free concert) later at night.
Friday-Sunday: Study & socialize
I'll try and work out so that I can work full Friday's starting next week, ex:
Friday: Work 10-5. Work 7-midnight
We'll see if it's possible, would be awesome! Anyhow, at the moment I'm working on my conflict, Waikato Tainui, that my group will have a presentation on in two weeks. I wish we'd had Rwanda instead, but this is quite interesting as well, and no other group has it, which is always something! I'll work on this for another hour, then head up to 9G to make dinner (spaghetti bolognese).
I'm so tired, so I guess I'll go to bed quite early, in three hours maybe in order to get up early tomorrow to study. Well, not very interesting to read about but this is how my life is at the moment, school and work, quite nice if you ask me.
Back to school work!
Stalking
I have to get up fairly early tomorrow, because it's WATERFIGHT at Hikuwai Plaza, 1 pm, and before that I'll (hopefully) be going to Warehouse to buy myself a waterpistol. GO YELLOW TEAM!
Bed now. Might make pasta, who knows. Will update you soon enough.
Btw. Psychology is such a hard paper, only 50% passing students, but I LOVE it!
Cheers.
PS. Love being back in Auckland
Studies
Today was the second day in school. My timetable looks like this:
Monday: Principles of Conflict Resolution 4-7
Tuesday: Principles of Conflict Resolution 3-6
Wednesday: Psychology 2-4
Thursday: Psychology 9-11
Pretty sweet aye? I'm trying to put up my workig hours so that I work and go to school full days on Monday to Thursday, leaving Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays entirely off. Those days will go to volonteering (if I get it) and studying and whatever I want to do.
So for now I'm doing some preparations for a group meeting on Thursday about the genocide in Rwanda. I have been interested in this for quite a while so I'm thrilled to study it. In three weeks my group and I will hold a presentation about Rwanda and I'm psyched!
Well, I'll finish up soon, go grab a shower and then meet up with some guys. We're going out tonight, I won't go hard in for the drinking though. Plan in a glass of red and then just hanging out having fun. Doesn't get much better than that right?
It feels so right being back in school, I've missed it so much and even if it doesn't feel like it from time to times, I do love sitting down doing my studies. Amazing! Tomorrow is my first Psychology class and I'm really exited, I love the subject and I'll try my best not to analyse everything people do (further than I already do).
This is just so right!
(pic borrowed from BBC NEWS)
..
I'm not really in a great mood, but I still feel like updating my blog.. Things here are getting better. It seems like all of my friends are okay which is a great relief for me. I know five of them will evacuate to Auckland on Sunday and I am currently waiting for a call from the WSA manager to see if we somehow could accomodate them. I believe that everyone in Auckland, and wherever the people from Christchurch end up, should work together and do our best to ease up their situation. It is a national crisis going on and if there's anything I can do to help, I'll take it.
Otherwise, life goes on down here. I spoke to my job today and I'll start working 20 hrs/w in the next few days. I also recieved my application form from the Red Cross, and as soon as I decide what I want to do there and how much time I have (considering I must also have time for uni, 20 hours of work a week, travelling and having a social life) I'll send it back to them and get started on that too. This is going to be a couple of busy months, but I'd rather be busy than bored.
As for now, I'm going easy until everything's sorted out. With papers to fill in, fees to pay, work to do and money to make I don't feel like living the "crazy student life". My priority is to save up some money so that I can travel and see as much of the South Island as possible during my last couple of months here.
It feels unreal that I have to leave soon. I can't deny the fact that I am temped to stay. The only thing that keeps me is the study in Vaxjo I want to do. If I won't be accepted, I just might stay here another month or two, and then head off to Norway to work. I have my family and many friends in Sweden, but my heart and home is in New Zealand and I do not look forward to the day when I have to pack my bags and get on that jet plane. If only I could do my whole bachelor here. If only I could stay here for another three years.
If only
But life is life, and unfortunatley I can't do my whole bachelor here. Unfortunatley I can't stay here to work and save money. Unfortunatley, Norway or Sweden would be better in that case...
It is all very sad. I feel like I'm about to being kicked out of my home.
We'll, I have calls to make and things to take care of. I'll most likely be hard to reach the next couple of days or so. You all have to be patient since I can't answer all of your e-mails at once, I have no time nor energy.
Lot's of love
Thank whatever higher power there might be for keeping my friends safe <3
23 February....
There was another earthquake in Christchurch yesterday.
The city where I lived for three months, and left less than three days before the 6.3 quake which has caused, for now, 75 confirmed dead, a couple of hundred people missing, destroyed buildings and sorrow. I am safe in Auckland, but I can't help but feel despair and terror as a beautiful city is ruined and many people I know are the victims of it. This is by far the worst thing that happend here in NZ, and I can only cross my fingers for it to be the last catastrophy to happen to Christchuch.
First the 7.1 earthquake in September.
Then the Pike River accident, with 29 dead men.
Now, a 6.3 earthquake with all this misery, destruction and death.
I hope for the sake of the people in Christchurch that they can evacuate as soon as possible, recover from this terrible disaster and hopefully return back to Christchurch with renewed strength, hope and curage.
You are all in my mind, and I hope the rest of the world will do whatever they can do to help you.
As for me, I couldn't have been more grateful for leaving Christchurch with my sister two and a half days before the earthquake, as much as having my friends in uni from Christchurch here in Auckland with me. We should consider ourselves blessed. ![[Christchurch earthquake]](http://images.brisbanetimes.com.au/file/2011/02/23/2198556/big-4.jpg)
![[Christchurch earthquake]](http://images.brisbanetimes.com.au/file/2011/02/22/2197499/nz-quake-11.jpg)
![[Christchurch earthquake]](http://images.brisbanetimes.com.au/file/2011/02/22/2197536/nz-quake-14.jpg)
Read more and see more pictures here
Nooooooooo
It's almost two in the morning, but in my time zone it's about seven in the afternoon, so I'm just about to start Lost and thought I'd heat some GARLIC BREAD to snack on. TURNS OUT it's not garlic bread, but HERBAL BREAD. I know I might sound like a pregnant woman with all these crazy cravings (I promise you I'm not!!!) but I'm so pissed off right now because of the friggin bread.
Just needed to share this with you. I'll just have my bread now and await "night". In my timezone, that is.
Nu kan du få mig så lätt
(Song by the Swedish artist Håkan Hellström)
Hey friends!
It's Monday, I'm sick and miserable and on my way to Countdown to buy some food. I'm in my workout tights and a sweatshirt, with swollen face and bad throat. Haha. I'll buy something good for me, maybe ice cream or Coco Pops, hahaha. Tomorrow is a big night out so I reckon I need some rest until then. Might get a movie as well, so that I can have a solo movie night =)
I'm out of here. Once again, sorry for any misspelled words, my keybord is broken and I have to rewrite everything about five times before all the letters actually get there. I need a new laptop indeed, first priority in Auckland!
Xxxx
My Career Goals For 2011
1. Get my foot in Red Cross. I applied for volonteership a few months ago without any replies. BUT I will not give up! I will keep working for it until I get it, because I really, really want this! I also have a friend in Auckland with contacts within Red Cross Auckland whom he goes to breakfast meetings with every now and then, and he promised to bring me to one of those. I can see myself working for Red Cross, so why not start right now?
2. Be accepted to my studies in Växjö, Sweden. That would be a great career move in the right directon studying public relations with specialization in peace- and development studies. Can't wait till 15 March when I can apply!
I have more goals, but they are not for 2011, rather 2013 so I'll keep them to myself for now.
Here is some information about my study from the University's web page (translated by me from Swedish, though)
"You will have great opportunities after graduation to influence wherever in the world you choose to work. Organisations and business within peace- and development, both in Sweden and abroad, are working more consciously with information and communication, which expands the occupation field. Employers are, amongst others, volunteer organisations, internationally active corporations, public authorities and international organs such as UN and EU."
"Assignments for a public relations officer within peace- and development work may vary; it might contain communication planning, crisis communication, campaign planning, world analysis, media contacts, lobbying and other forms of information broadcasting."
01.50 am, five days left
I'm quite hungry as well.. I had an omelette earlier today.. I was so delusional and confused, because I was tired, that I kept cracking up the eggs in the sink and throwing the peel in the bowl, it actually took me a while before I realized I was doing it all backwards.. Sometimes I speak Swedish to everyone when I'm drunk, it happend quite a few times at WSA and I remember my German friend Jannika telling me with a very parenting voice: "Louise, you know I don't speak Swedish so you'll have to tell me in English" and I barley realized I've spoken in the wrong language. It is rather confusing sometimes.
Well.. I thought that since I'm sick I deserved to be a fatty, so I've had one Calippo and some sweets. For now I feel a boiled egg (two in the morning?) so plan is to make an egg, watch the movie and fall asleep. I need my res and my body needs to recover.
And oh, five days left to AUCKLAND
Monday: NO PLANS, watch a movie and have a cosy night on my own?
Tuesday: Going out with Mohamed, as we do on Tuesdays
Wednesday: Going out for dinner, then drinks at My Bar (bar manager there wants me to pop in for free drinks, so I thought I'd give the bar a try)
Thursday: No certain plans yet, but might just be tequila night with Sarah
Friday: WORK
Saturday: Going back up north to see my kiwi family, I've missed ya!
At Micky Finn's, my second home in ChCh
Sunday, lazy day
My plan which consisted of resting in the couch for two hours then Hagley Park turned in to passing out in the couch for 5 hours and no Hagley Park at all.. I suppose I needed to sleep so fair enough. Well I'm sick as hell so I've decided not to move for the rest of the day at all. I just got some sweets from the dairy and there's good shit on tv for the rest of the night so if someone wants something from me, they'll have to come here.
Back to Big Bang Theory, candy and myself.
six nations, that's how we roll
- my computer is going towards a slow and painful death, the keybord isn't working properly anymore so any misspelling or similarities are to blaim on that defect
- instead of going to bed after work this moring, we went to an English pub to watch the rugby game between Scotland and Wales with a beer
- instead of going to bed after the game, we had red wine and played fifa '11
- instead of going to bed after fifa, I just went home to get some food and relax, and I'll be out of here in two hours or so, going to Hagley Park for live music and perhaps BBQ
- I am insanely sick with a cold and can't stop sneezing, just wonderful working around people constantly focusing on not sneezing up their face rather than being friendly and all. However, last night was probably my best night at MF's so far
Well, I'm not quite sleepy but I am tired, so I'll just chill out in the couch watching tv or reading my book, thinking about life, you know the usual. Will most likely blog about it.
pray for tomorrow, not for today
I felt a bit "homesick", or whatever you call it, yesterday. However, I missed Sweden and my loved ones there that I haven't seen for so long. I listened to Foo Fighters' song "Home" and just felt miserable for half an hour or so. It usually doesn't last much longer than so, and it doesn't happen too often either anyway. I guess it's only good for you to miss home every now and then? Whatever home is anyway, I don't know anymore.
You know, I'm not much for tears since I reckon it doesn't solve any propblem if you sob about it instead of try to think out a solution, but when I hear this song my eyes just tear up. Strange.. It's nof out of sadness, it's just the feeling I've gaind from moving here. The feeling of really knowing what I, by choice, left behind for one year. People, places, bonds, etc.
This song reminds me of everything I have back there. I have never experienced anything like this before, and even though it's extremely hard sometimes to make it through the day without crying, missing and thinking about how much easier it would be to go back, I remind myself that I am stronger than that. That I can make it, I can g to work and class and do my think and live life as fully as possible. It's hard but I'm not weak. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger: a cliché that is absolutely true.
I feel a bit sad today as well actually. It might be a combination of still being exhausted from work, lack of food, home alone and being sick (yes, I am currently suffering from a horrible cold and earlier today I sneezed which ended up blowing my nose on my arm, fresh?), or maybe it's simply me missing my kin. Who knows? I reckon I'm doing pretty good. I'm not calling home sobbing because I can't make it on my own. Yes, it has been hard time to time, but I keep my spirit and I'm positive everything will go even better this semester than the last.
Well. To you in Swe.. Lot's of love. I'll be back.
NEW YEAR 2010-2011
Work ♥
YAY!
I got called in for work tonight, so I'll start at 10 pm and it's now 8.40 pm. Kelsey and I are being lazy bitches in a couch each, watching tv and eating crappy food. It's okay to do that sometimes! As soon as she's done with her computer I'll borrow it and upload some pictures from Christchurch. Well, I'm working and that makes me glad Only thing that pisses me off is that AUT still haven't send my papers to CSN in Sweden, so I might not get my loan in time --> FML. There is nothing that stress me more than paperwork and fees and shit. It jst bothers me that if they won't send them soon enough, my fees will be paid late and AUT will complain about it when they're the one's not doing their job = FUCKED UP!
Well, my mood is ruined because of all the paper crap I have to deal with, so I just want to get to work, that'll for sure make me feel better. Pics will hopefully be up soon! Ciao..
