Love rant
I'm becoming more and more aware of my emotional handicap. No, not as in "scarred by a mean boyfriend" or anything like that, I'm just not that very good when it comes to emotions and it seems to be a fact known to most of my friends.
However, I was working last week and this really really really cute and nice guy starts flirting with me. A lot. I usually don't like it when people do that to me when I'm working, so when this guy asked me for my number I just told him a straight up "No". Well he kept on hanging out at the bar, so after a while I just thought "screw it, he's cute, I might as well give him a shot" and gave him my number. He never called, which isn't surprising since I didn't show the least interest in him, the poor guy probably thought I just gave it to him to get rid off him.
So this really makes me angry with myself, why do I have to keep everyone at such a distance? I haven't bonded with anyone for so long by now so maybe I'm broken, maybe I can't?
How should I do to actually allow myself to go on dates, accept cute guys numbers and give them a chance? That shouldn't be too hard, should it? I mean, for all I know I might as well be sitting there when I'm 40 with my awesome career, but all by myself.
It makes me sad when I think about it. Am I unable to seperate independent and single?
However, I was working last week and this really really really cute and nice guy starts flirting with me. A lot. I usually don't like it when people do that to me when I'm working, so when this guy asked me for my number I just told him a straight up "No". Well he kept on hanging out at the bar, so after a while I just thought "screw it, he's cute, I might as well give him a shot" and gave him my number. He never called, which isn't surprising since I didn't show the least interest in him, the poor guy probably thought I just gave it to him to get rid off him.
So this really makes me angry with myself, why do I have to keep everyone at such a distance? I haven't bonded with anyone for so long by now so maybe I'm broken, maybe I can't?
How should I do to actually allow myself to go on dates, accept cute guys numbers and give them a chance? That shouldn't be too hard, should it? I mean, for all I know I might as well be sitting there when I'm 40 with my awesome career, but all by myself.
It makes me sad when I think about it. Am I unable to seperate independent and single?
Kommentarer
Trackback
