Sweet Home.. Eh?
I'm watching Sweet Home Alabama, eating Whittaker's milk chocolate with almonds and just chilling out by myself. As normal people have work tomorrow morning, everyone else are asleep. Lucky bastards, hehe! I've slept most of the days which really bothers me. I have another two weeks left at work, and then I'll have a week or so to straighten my hours up.
As I am watching this movie, I'm thinking about home.
The term "home" confuses me. I can't seem to define it. Is home the place where you are currently living, or the place where your heart is and always will be? I have been living in Christchurch for 2,5 months roughly, and by that I mean living. Not doing the whole tourist thing living in a hostel, but working, paying rent and going food shopping. Sure, there have been nights out, but most of the time I've been exhausted, worn out and sleepless. I have grown to love this city, and soon I'll be leaving, possibly never to come back again. Maybe in April, when I will do my South Island trip, but who knows?
So in less than three weeks, I will be going back to Auckland. Sweet, sweet Auckland where I learned how to take care of myself, study on a higher level and drink tequila like a man. How many times have I packed and unpacked my bags the last twelve months? How many times do I have left to do it the coming twelve months?
If home is where your heart is, I'm screwed in all honesty because I don't think I'll ever find a place good enough to settle down in. But if home is where you live, experience and learn, I guess I have a shot.
A countdown is ongoing in my head. I started as soon as I did half of my time in NZ. I'm counting down for Auckland, and for Sweden. Auckland will be in nineteen and a half days, and Sweden will happen in roughly five months. If I will be able to stick to my plan, I'll move back home to my mom's in July, only to move up north in Sweden for further studies in August.
Scared? Yes
Nervous? Yes
Terrified? Yes...
Not only that. I'm freaking out to be honest. The future makes me anxious, because everything is going so well down here. I have a job, my own place and most of all: my studies. I have never felt as defined as I do now. Will I be able to define who I am once I leave the place that brought the definition up?
On the other hand
I'm very excited about what the future has to offer. I am certain that no matter what choices I make, places I go to or people I choose to get involved with, it is for the best. I have faith in myself, and one should never forget that excitement and other strong feelings we experience from life only spices it up a bit.
As I am watching this movie, I'm thinking about home.
The term "home" confuses me. I can't seem to define it. Is home the place where you are currently living, or the place where your heart is and always will be? I have been living in Christchurch for 2,5 months roughly, and by that I mean living. Not doing the whole tourist thing living in a hostel, but working, paying rent and going food shopping. Sure, there have been nights out, but most of the time I've been exhausted, worn out and sleepless. I have grown to love this city, and soon I'll be leaving, possibly never to come back again. Maybe in April, when I will do my South Island trip, but who knows?
So in less than three weeks, I will be going back to Auckland. Sweet, sweet Auckland where I learned how to take care of myself, study on a higher level and drink tequila like a man. How many times have I packed and unpacked my bags the last twelve months? How many times do I have left to do it the coming twelve months?
If home is where your heart is, I'm screwed in all honesty because I don't think I'll ever find a place good enough to settle down in. But if home is where you live, experience and learn, I guess I have a shot.
A countdown is ongoing in my head. I started as soon as I did half of my time in NZ. I'm counting down for Auckland, and for Sweden. Auckland will be in nineteen and a half days, and Sweden will happen in roughly five months. If I will be able to stick to my plan, I'll move back home to my mom's in July, only to move up north in Sweden for further studies in August.
Scared? Yes
Nervous? Yes
Terrified? Yes...
Not only that. I'm freaking out to be honest. The future makes me anxious, because everything is going so well down here. I have a job, my own place and most of all: my studies. I have never felt as defined as I do now. Will I be able to define who I am once I leave the place that brought the definition up?
On the other hand
I'm very excited about what the future has to offer. I am certain that no matter what choices I make, places I go to or people I choose to get involved with, it is for the best. I have faith in myself, and one should never forget that excitement and other strong feelings we experience from life only spices it up a bit.
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