Analyser
So I am an analyser, as probably most of you who already knows. I suppose reading my blog is evidence enough to know that, so I will just assume that you know.
Well, having that said I started thinking about what it actually means to be that. Firstly, it does mean that things in my life doesn't just happen by accident, nor do I commonly do thins without having a clue without the ramifications of it. Mortal as I am, obviously I do things that later on does have consequenses I did not expect, but in most cases I do have a backup plan or knowledge ough in how to handle situations depending on whatever the outcome may be.
Yet again, having this said I wonder if it's really necessary to analyse exactley everyting. I am a fir believer in that whatever needs to be sorted out, it should be done in a proper way which includes talking over the reasons for a certain situation, and then moving on to find the best possible solution.
Sometimes I do find myself feeling way too old for my age acting like this, as I actually am still a teenager and should just take life as it comes, one day at a time. Or should I really?
Life is so complicated, and it feels like taking the long way being to intense about everything and trying to figure out every single thing and person in my life, and why things happens. No, I do not believe that things happens for a reason. I believe that things happens for a cause, and if that cause in some way disturbs me, I would rather have it sorted out right there and then, rather than just leaving it as itis hoping for it to go away.
As I said, I may take life (from that point of view) way too seriously, but on the other hand, is it really possible to do that? Life is the biggest thing that we will ever experience, and if something would ever disturb us in any way, isn't it just better to get rid off it and sort it out?
Being straight up is, as I experience it, something that is quite uncommon, in all honesty. By that I don't mean to say that I'm ahead of all of you which I don't think I am, but I do tend to be very honest about how I feel about certain things which scares and intimidates people more than I will ever be able to understand. Being honest. How could that ever be bad? Sure, honesty does hurt sometimes, but in the end it saves so much time knowing what's going on instead of wasting time trying to figure it out.
Which leads us back to analysing, which in that point of view is wasting time on precisely that: trying to figure things out. So is this just a bad circle that I am in, or am I just a bit mentally older in that manner than most people of my age?
Well don't expect me to give any answers because I don't have a clue. I am constantly trying to develop myself and grow up and learn more about life, but everynow and again I get shot down, by myself or others, only to realise that I'm actually not really making that much progress. That it's all in my head. Trying to figure yourself out is impossible, just as impossible as it is for someone else to do it for you.
Of course, when other people try to figure you out your defense will be "you don't know me enough to say that", but will someone ever know enough of you to give them approval to throw in their opinion? Will you ever accept that people actually see you for who you are, just from a different aspect than yourself do? It is hard to accept, as it would be uncomfortable being confronted about your behaviour from someone else when you yourself haven't even considered it, or wanted to consider it.
I know me, but I don't know me the way that other people do. I easily get shut into my own bubble, believing that everything I say or do is right and the best possible way to deal with things, and accepting that it's not is hard. So I do accept the fact that I'm an analyser. I'm not going ti apologise for it, nor try to change myself and my instinctive behaviour, but I do need to consider whether there i a better way of dealing with life. Regardless of how complicated life may be, everyone needs to just let it go every now and then and just live life wiout always trying to have a concrete plan of how the next ten years will be like, how people should behave and what life right now will lead to.
Coming to New Zealand was not that much though through at all, and yet here I am and I'm happy! I know I made the best decision of my life coming here, so maybe I should try and loosen up and just go with the flow and accept things for what they are, and not for how they should have, or could have been.
I am challenging myself to just take life as it is until Friday, which is a massive challenge for me who always try to figure out everything about.. well, everything! So that is about three days. Three days I will take it as it comes without making a big deal about everything, and I will try to keep my notebook with me at all times so that I can write down whatever goes on in my head so that I perhaps can find a motive for my beaviour.
Why do I need to be in control of everything (well not literally everything, as that would be most impossible)?
3 days, starting from now. Challenge accepted!
Well, having that said I started thinking about what it actually means to be that. Firstly, it does mean that things in my life doesn't just happen by accident, nor do I commonly do thins without having a clue without the ramifications of it. Mortal as I am, obviously I do things that later on does have consequenses I did not expect, but in most cases I do have a backup plan or knowledge ough in how to handle situations depending on whatever the outcome may be.
Yet again, having this said I wonder if it's really necessary to analyse exactley everyting. I am a fir believer in that whatever needs to be sorted out, it should be done in a proper way which includes talking over the reasons for a certain situation, and then moving on to find the best possible solution.
Sometimes I do find myself feeling way too old for my age acting like this, as I actually am still a teenager and should just take life as it comes, one day at a time. Or should I really?
Life is so complicated, and it feels like taking the long way being to intense about everything and trying to figure out every single thing and person in my life, and why things happens. No, I do not believe that things happens for a reason. I believe that things happens for a cause, and if that cause in some way disturbs me, I would rather have it sorted out right there and then, rather than just leaving it as itis hoping for it to go away.
As I said, I may take life (from that point of view) way too seriously, but on the other hand, is it really possible to do that? Life is the biggest thing that we will ever experience, and if something would ever disturb us in any way, isn't it just better to get rid off it and sort it out?
Being straight up is, as I experience it, something that is quite uncommon, in all honesty. By that I don't mean to say that I'm ahead of all of you which I don't think I am, but I do tend to be very honest about how I feel about certain things which scares and intimidates people more than I will ever be able to understand. Being honest. How could that ever be bad? Sure, honesty does hurt sometimes, but in the end it saves so much time knowing what's going on instead of wasting time trying to figure it out.
Which leads us back to analysing, which in that point of view is wasting time on precisely that: trying to figure things out. So is this just a bad circle that I am in, or am I just a bit mentally older in that manner than most people of my age?
Well don't expect me to give any answers because I don't have a clue. I am constantly trying to develop myself and grow up and learn more about life, but everynow and again I get shot down, by myself or others, only to realise that I'm actually not really making that much progress. That it's all in my head. Trying to figure yourself out is impossible, just as impossible as it is for someone else to do it for you.
Of course, when other people try to figure you out your defense will be "you don't know me enough to say that", but will someone ever know enough of you to give them approval to throw in their opinion? Will you ever accept that people actually see you for who you are, just from a different aspect than yourself do? It is hard to accept, as it would be uncomfortable being confronted about your behaviour from someone else when you yourself haven't even considered it, or wanted to consider it.
I know me, but I don't know me the way that other people do. I easily get shut into my own bubble, believing that everything I say or do is right and the best possible way to deal with things, and accepting that it's not is hard. So I do accept the fact that I'm an analyser. I'm not going ti apologise for it, nor try to change myself and my instinctive behaviour, but I do need to consider whether there i a better way of dealing with life. Regardless of how complicated life may be, everyone needs to just let it go every now and then and just live life wiout always trying to have a concrete plan of how the next ten years will be like, how people should behave and what life right now will lead to.
Coming to New Zealand was not that much though through at all, and yet here I am and I'm happy! I know I made the best decision of my life coming here, so maybe I should try and loosen up and just go with the flow and accept things for what they are, and not for how they should have, or could have been.
I am challenging myself to just take life as it is until Friday, which is a massive challenge for me who always try to figure out everything about.. well, everything! So that is about three days. Three days I will take it as it comes without making a big deal about everything, and I will try to keep my notebook with me at all times so that I can write down whatever goes on in my head so that I perhaps can find a motive for my beaviour.
Why do I need to be in control of everything (well not literally everything, as that would be most impossible)?
3 days, starting from now. Challenge accepted!
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Postat av: mami
Go with the flow mitt hjärtegryn <3
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