LOUISE

It feels so wierd being done.

I'm still stressed out, due to all the hard work this whole semester. I have been working so hard, but I still feel like I should have pushed myself harder. Why didn't I do that? You don't work as hard as you possibly can until you get the best grade in all courses. So here I am, without the best grades in everything. I feel disappointed and angry.

I am waiting for the grades of my essay in Conflict Resolution to be released. It was 30% of the grade and I felt quite confident writing it.

We've done:

- Presentation 20% A+
- Mediation role play 10% A+
- Exam 40%
- Essay 30%

I just wish they could release the gades that actually MATTERS for the final grade, isthat really too much to ask for??? I'm freaking out here and want my grades, it's killing me not to know!

I've got a couple A+'s here, but only on the smaller assignments. Being done with uni makes me so restless, and everytime I see my Psychology book I just want to open it, which makes me feel miserable because Psychology has taken over my life the last couple of weeks.

I just can't wait to start uni again in Sweden. I want to go further and do better. I know I can, I'm just not exactley sure of how. I need to find my own way to do it. I'm on my way, but no there quite yet.

When I need inspiration I take it from people I look up to. The last few weeks I've been watching Grey's Anatomy, as I admire the character Cristina Yang. After one or two episodes I'm up running again. One of my philosophies in life is that anyone can achieve anything. They just have to push themselves and find a way that suits them.
Deep inside I know I can, I know I'm smart, and I know I will do good in life. Somedays, however, I feel like giving up, like I'm not good enough, not smart enough. Not even Grey's can heal that feeling.

Oh well. I'm done here and there's nothing I can do now anyways.

I'm still fucking longing to start uni again.