Scared
I am still loving life just as much now as 45 minutes ago, but I just need to cleanse my head around one thing. Moving away.
By the end of this month I will know whether I'll be going abroad for one semester, and if so where I'll be going. I am so nervous, it's crazy really. I want to scream, run through the forest and beg to God that the Iceland spot is mine. But I'm just not sure. For some reason I've got a bad feeling about this. My guts tell me that Iceland is not mine for the taking, and I'll end up someplace cool, but without the absolutely great courses that are available only as far as I know) at the University of Iceland.
Well, this doesn't only regard that part. It's also that I'm scared of losing my friends. Many of my best friends from before I moved away the first time just don't seem that close anymore. Actually it hurts to say that I don't feel connected at all to most of them. At the same time, the bond to some of my friends has become much stronger, and of course not to forget about all the amazing people one gets to know when away.
I just want to be told that I am going to Reykjavik, Iceland. That would make my dreams come true. And I want to come back still having good friends here, whom I don't forget about and doesn't forget about me in return. Yes, it's so hard keeping it up from both sides, it just makes me sad. I value friendships so high, but some days I just question whether other people do that as well?
However what makes me happy is when I get back only to be met by a bunch of people who are just happy to see you. I love you so much, and I will never leave you.
No, for now I have to cross my fingers for getting my spot. I'm not sure of what I'll do if I don't get it. Will I still go to Italy, Ireland, England? Who knows? All I need to do is hang in there and wait. That's the worst part, waiting.
Life is still frigging amazing, though.
By the end of this month I will know whether I'll be going abroad for one semester, and if so where I'll be going. I am so nervous, it's crazy really. I want to scream, run through the forest and beg to God that the Iceland spot is mine. But I'm just not sure. For some reason I've got a bad feeling about this. My guts tell me that Iceland is not mine for the taking, and I'll end up someplace cool, but without the absolutely great courses that are available only as far as I know) at the University of Iceland.
Well, this doesn't only regard that part. It's also that I'm scared of losing my friends. Many of my best friends from before I moved away the first time just don't seem that close anymore. Actually it hurts to say that I don't feel connected at all to most of them. At the same time, the bond to some of my friends has become much stronger, and of course not to forget about all the amazing people one gets to know when away.
I just want to be told that I am going to Reykjavik, Iceland. That would make my dreams come true. And I want to come back still having good friends here, whom I don't forget about and doesn't forget about me in return. Yes, it's so hard keeping it up from both sides, it just makes me sad. I value friendships so high, but some days I just question whether other people do that as well?
However what makes me happy is when I get back only to be met by a bunch of people who are just happy to see you. I love you so much, and I will never leave you.
No, for now I have to cross my fingers for getting my spot. I'm not sure of what I'll do if I don't get it. Will I still go to Italy, Ireland, England? Who knows? All I need to do is hang in there and wait. That's the worst part, waiting.
Life is still frigging amazing, though.
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